fleshy, stiff\ngrey grains\nof sooty dread\nwould nurse the tears from my fragile facial [[veins]]\n

"Don't take this with a grain of salt. For your sake, move to Toronto, spiralling down into a foreseeable realization that you are not special, and that there is no quality you harbor that could ever merit what you did to me."\n[[<<Back|...]]

...\n[[play video|video]]

all that the ears hear, or the nose tastes\nbecome the grains of the visionary, \nthe painful [[unmouthings]] of the prophet...\n

why is this \nand what is [[there]]\n

<<playvideo zesjptihInc 0 loop sound>>\n\nTHIS BEDROOM \nIS A BLAND EXCUSE\nFOR A [[WOMB]]\n

and misshhaped\n[[asking]]\n

me I [[see]]

"Cuz you haven't done anything with yours, and it makes me so shamelessly gleeful i just had to share this sentiment with you. You were the catalyst of my (one of many) artistic awakening- and i thank you for playing the role. My new house is a dream come true, and my roommate, well, she makes my dreams come true. 'Relationships' are silly and naive, and by accepting this i've delved sensibly and harmoniously into a world i never knew and i feel clean and above all- [[STRONG]] again."

"I realize that the conception i once had of you as an entity was so fabricated by my own wanting to love and cling onto you. I really glamorized you as a person, i now know how painfully ordinary and typical you are and i laugh conceitedly to myself and im not ashamed to admit that. \nI strive to educate through my art, i think its important to have some sort of cohesively moral message in your medium, it justifies any extreme you take it to. People need to experience pain and grief to strengthen their own fundamental beliefs and inner-self. \nI've been sober for one month today. As insignificant a person you were to me, the impact of your departure had much significance. Again, [[thank you.]]

Thought I found my mind today, a silent red balloon. Thought I became the moon but I just drift through static rain\n\n[[<<Back|...]]

People like this don't give you a choice.\n[[<<Back|how]]

behind the one way mirror?\n\n[[<<Back|...]]

A slightly distorted, mold-broken variant of the default Sugarcane interface. Note: text too large for the window will be pushed flush with the top.\nbody {\n background-image: linear-gradient(20deg, rgba(63,190,255,0.4) 0%,rgba(0,0,0,0) 30%), \n linear-gradient(115deg, rgba(63,255,165,0.4) 0%,rgba(0,0,0,0) 30%), \n linear-gradient(200deg, rgba(255,190,64,0.4) 0%,rgba(0,0,0,0) 30%),\n linear-gradient(320deg, rgba(255,64,190,0.4) 0%,rgba(0,0,0,0) 30%);\n background-image: -webkit-linear-gradient(20deg, rgba(63,190,255,0.4) 0%,rgba(0,0,0,0) 30%), \n -webkit-linear-gradient(115deg, rgba(63,255,165,0.4) 0%,rgba(0,0,0,0) 30%), \n -webkit-linear-gradient(200deg, rgba(255,190,64,0.4) 0%,rgba(0,0,0,0) 30%),\n -webkit-linear-gradient(320deg, rgba(255,64,190,0.4) 0%,rgba(0,0,0,0) 30%);\n background-attachment:fixed;\n margin: 0;\n}\nhtml {\n height:100%;\n width:100%;\n}\n#passages {\n border-left: 0;\n margin: 0;\n padding: 0;\n line-height:100vh;\n text-align:center;\n}\n.passage {\n position: absolute;\n top: 0;\n bottom: 0;\n left: 0;\n right: 0;\n margin:auto;\n font-size: 2em;\n width: 50%;\n height: 50%;\n transform: rotate(-0.3deg);\n -webkit-transform: rotate(-0.3deg);\n}\n.passage {\n text-align:center;\n}\n#sidebar li:nth-child(3n) {\n transform: rotate(3deg);\n -webkit-transform: rotate(3deg);\n margin-right: -1em;\n}\n#sidebar li:nth-child(3n+1) {\n transform: rotate(2deg);\n -webkit-transform: rotate(2deg);\n}\n#sidebar li:nth-child(3n+2) {\n transform: rotate(-2deg);\n -webkit-transform: rotate(-2deg);\n margin-right: 1em;\n}\n#sidebar li, #sidebar li a {\n color: #555;\n}\n#sidebar #share {\n display:none;\n}\n@media screen and (max-width: 960px) {\n body { font-size: 55%; }\n}\n@media screen and (max-width: 840px) {\n body { font-size: 45%; }\n}\n@media screen and (max-width: 720px) {\n body { \n font-size: 40%;\n }\n #sidebar, #sidebar:hover {\n width: 100%;\n height: 6em;\n left: 0em;\n font-size:1.8em;\n }\n #sidebar li#title { display:block; }\n #sidebar li { margin-right: 2em; }\n #sidebar #credits { display: none; }\n #passages {\n margin: 10em 0 0 0em;\n }\n}

\n"My life is better than yours; wanna know why? "\n\n[[yes]]\n[[no]]

And for a bundle of moments\nthis lonely little womb\ncontains some sort of twin\nattached to me.\nIt's nice while it lasts.\n\n[[<<Back|...]]

[[...]]

"Label me maniacal, pathologically insane- whatever stigmatized conclusion you come to, it doesn't matter. People don't do horrible things to other people unscathed and ignorantly blissful, i don't know how you live with yourself, i don't know how you go about doing the things you do knowing full well what you have done to someone else living and breathing on this earth simultaneously. You won't speak to me in person or on the phone because you have no justification- you're fully committed to your selfish desires and you unconditionally take care of yourself with any and all collateral damage thrown aside carelessly. I hate you. I wish i could just be indifferent, but i dont possess the characteristics of a stone cold robot thus i am still emotionally invested in making you recognize the implications of everything youve done in vein of yourself. \nTheres no socio-analytical catharsis to derive nor is there any psychoanalytic perspective to put two and two together- this is something that i am not capable of letting go- I want you to tell me how you are doing this. I need to know [[how]]."

now being\nsplits the seasons\nand the garden has gone\nconcrete\nand because of nameless poets\nthe dun\ndips\nin the sea\n\n[[<<Back|...]]

I AM POINTLESS\n\nI am [[pointless...]]\n

Words drip vomit from fragile tongues, In a hall with dead ends for exits. Your lungs are screaming, is this too much for you? Your lungs are screaming, my dreams obsessed with you. Knee deep off shore the air bends and ripples, but the sea stays ever [[still]].

THIS BEDROOM\nIS A BLAND EXCUSE\nFOR A WOMB\nENTERING, I ONLY FEEL \nA LITTLE LESS\nLIKE A SEVERED LIMB\nIN A ROOM FULL OF INSECTS\nTHAN I DO\nI PULL RUMPLED FOLDS OVER MY\n BODY\nCEILING DUMBLY BLINKS AT\n [[ME]]\n

[[I]] [[DESTROY]] [[MYSELF]] [[SO]] [[YOU]] [[CAN'T.]]

though afterwards I feel\nthe tremble of salt\nthat divines silent statues of guilt\nand I pronounce this peace as horror,\nfor life I want to be the nexus of words\nand reality the condition of love\n\n[[<<Back|...]]

I've been charmed by darker eyes, guilty pleasures gone stone stale. Curel sleet walls slowly melting away, hot wax forms [[useless]] borders.

breath becomes words\npulsing over a heavy tongue;\nwith inadequate time and blistered [[lips]]\nalways sound seems better than words\nand words for thoughts eclipse each other\nin the hurryplease to be free of me;\n

RITUAL

There's a [[dead]] body under my eyelids.\nThese eyes can\n not open;\n

Insider\nHello foreign flesh.\nA texture,\n a warmth\n like [[yours]]

window._tubular = undefined;\nwindow.jquery_url = 'https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/2.0.0/';\n \nvar s = document.createElement('script');\ns.src = jquery_url + 'jquery.min.js';\ns.onload = function f(){\n if (jQuery) {\n jQuery.noConflict();\n }\n}\ndocument.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(s);\n \nif (!document.getElementById("ytjs")) {\n var tag = document.createElement('script');\n tag.src = "https://www.youtube.com/iframe_api";\n tag.id = "ytjs";\n var firstScriptTag = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0];\n firstScriptTag.parentNode.insertBefore(tag, firstScriptTag);\n} else {\n try {\n window.onYouTubeIframeAPIReady();\n } catch(e) {\n void(0);\n }\n}\n \nmacros["playvideo"]={\n handler: function(place, macroName, params, parser) {\n /* jQuery tubular plugin\n |* by Sean McCambridge\n |* http://www.seanmccambridge.com/tubular\n |* version: 1.0\n |* updated: October 1, 2012\n |* since 2010\n |* licensed under the MIT License\n |* Enjoy.\n |*\n |* Thanks,\n |* Sean */\n \n ;(function ($, window) {\n \n // test for feature support and return if failure\n \n // defaults\n var defaults = {\n ratio: 16/9, // usually either 4/3 or 16/9 -- tweak as needed\n videoId: 'zesjptihInc', // toy robot in space is a good default, no?\n mute: true,\n repeat: true,\n width: $(window).width(),\n wrapperZIndex: 99,\n playButtonClass: 'tubular-play',\n pauseButtonClass: 'tubular-pause',\n muteButtonClass: 'tubular-mute',\n volumeUpClass: 'tubular-volume-up',\n volumeDownClass: 'tubular-volume-down',\n increaseVolumeBy: 10,\n start: 0\n };\n \n // methods\n \n var tubular = function(node, options) { // should be called on the wrapper div\n var options = $.extend({}, defaults, options),\n $body = $('body') // cache body node\n $node = $(node); // cache wrapper node\n \n // build container\n var tubularContainer = '<div id="tubular-container" style="overflow: hidden; position: fixed; z-index: -99; width: 100%; height: 100%; top: 0; left: 0"><div id="tubular-player" style="position: fixed"></div></div><div id="tubular-shield" style="width: 100%; height: 100%; z-index: -97; position: fixed; left: 0; top: 0;"></div>';\n \n // set up css prereq's, inject tubular container and set up wrapper defaults\n //$('html,body').css({'width': '100%', 'height': '100%'});\n $body.prepend(tubularContainer);\n $node.css({position: 'relative', 'z-index': options.wrapperZIndex});\n \n // set up iframe player, use global scope so YT api can talk\n window.player;\n window.onYouTubeIframeAPIReady = function() {\n player = new YT.Player('tubular-player', {\n width: options.width,\n height: Math.ceil(options.width / options.ratio),\n videoId: options.videoId,\n playerVars: {\n controls: 0,\n showinfo: 0,\n modestbranding: 1,\n rel: 0,\n wmode: 'transparent'\n },\n events: {\n 'onReady': onPlayerReady,\n 'onStateChange': onPlayerStateChange\n }\n });\n }\n \n window.onPlayerReady = function(e) {\n resize();\n if (options.mute) e.target.mute();\n e.target.seekTo(options.start);\n e.target.playVideo();\n }\n \n window.onPlayerStateChange = function(state) {\n if (state.data === 0 && options.repeat) { // video ended and repeat option is set true\n player.seekTo(options.start); // restart\n }\n }\n \n // resize handler updates width, height and offset of player after resize/init\n var resize = function() {\n var width = $(window).width(),\n pWidth, // player width, to be defined\n height = $(window).height(),\n pHeight, // player height, tbd\n $tubularPlayer = $('#tubular-player');\n \n // when screen aspect ratio differs from video, video must center and underlay one dimension\n \n if (width / options.ratio < height) { // if new video height < window height (gap underneath)\n pWidth = Math.ceil(height * options.ratio); // get new player width\n $tubularPlayer.width(pWidth).height(height).css({left: (width - pWidth) / 2, top: 0}); // player width is greater, offset left; reset top\n } else { // new video width < window width (gap to right)\n pHeight = Math.ceil(width / options.ratio); // get new player height\n $tubularPlayer.width(width).height(pHeight).css({left: 0, top: (height - pHeight) / 2}); // player height is greater, offset top; reset left\n }\n \n }\n \n // events\n $(window).on('resize.tubular', function() {\n resize();\n })\n \n $('body').on('click','.' + options.playButtonClass, function(e) { // play button\n e.preventDefault();\n player.playVideo();\n }).on('click', '.' + options.pauseButtonClass, function(e) { // pause button\n e.preventDefault();\n player.pauseVideo();\n }).on('click', '.' + options.muteButtonClass, function(e) { // mute button\n e.preventDefault();\n (player.isMuted()) ? 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THIS BEDROOM\nIS A BLAND EXCUSE\nFOR A WOMB\nENTERING, I ONLY FEEL \nA LITTLE LESS\nLIKE A SEVERED LIMB\nIN A ROOM FULL OF INSECTS\nTHAN I DO\nI PULL RUMPLED FOLDS OVER MY\n BODY\nCEILING DUMBLY BLINKS AT\n ME\n\nI AM [[POINTLESS]]

small ovals for my oval [[mouth]]\nconfiscate pretense,\nreach strange unalterable conclusions\nunseen in proper perspective;\n

THIS BEDROOM\nIS A BLAND EXCUSE\nFOR A WOMB\nENTERING, I ONLY FEEL \nA LITTLE LESS\nLIKE A SEVERED LIMB\nIN A ROOM FULL OF INSECTS\nTHAN I DO\n ELSEWHERE\nI PULL RUMPLED FOLDS OVER MY\n [[BODY]]\n\n

once we moved in and out of night\nlike soft animals\nour darkness painted\nby a facial [[flame]]\n

reflected in the [[other]]'s eyes\n

once we had time for poets\nand love not a concept\nstuck to certain limbs,\nlike [[syrup]];\n

like a scratched contact lens\nand so I stay asleep \nuntil the doorbell of my\nlateness\nsticks its tongue\n into my [[nose.]]

BRONWEN DEURBROUCK

and I feel \nthe [[victim]] encericled\n

\n hums through my pores\n with a blushing, vibratory\n invigorating, energetic \n [[thrust.]]\n

THIS BEDROOM\nIS A BLAND EXCUSE\nFOR A WOMB\nENTERING, I ONLY FEEL \nA LITTLE LESS\nLIKE A SEVERED LIMB\nIN A ROOM FULL OF INSECTS\nTHAN I DO\n [[ELSEWHERE]]